¡Feliz Año Nuevo!
It is my sincere prayer that this new year is the best year of your life to date.
I want your family to prosper.
I believe that your negocio (business) will be more successful.
And your love life will thrive…well after you knock the first date out of the park.
Now, I’m not dating expert or relationship counselor, but I’ve identified a few steps that will help you wow her on your first date.
- Have Killer Yet Appropriate Style
This should go without question. I think most gents know that they should look nice. Where we may fail or not be as up to speed is looking appropriate. Few things are more “off putting” that looking like you’re “doing too much” or not dressed the part. In fact, if you’re not dressed appropriately, the establishment that you may attend may not let you get in.
So how do you know what to wear and when?
- Do your research: visit the website and look at the people who are pictured there or read the reviews online from sites like Yelp or Zagat. Call the business and inquire about the dress code. Ask friends and family about the environment.
- Less is more: Many guys try to wow their date with over the top style choices. DON’T DO THAT. let me be clear, you want to look great but employ the K. I. S. S. S. method , Keep It Stylishly Simple Stupid! Don’t try to go outside of your capabilities. It’s important to to be comfortable and confident but do not over do it. Simple, classics pieces that fit you phenomenally and minimal accessories, well placed will work great.
- Be confident: This is the best thing you could wear. It takes time and an internal strength, but being super stylish will help.
2. Conversation is Key
The point of a date is to connect with the person you’re hanging with. One common mistake is that guys take their date to a cine (movie) or a concerto. These are filled with fun and can be memorable events, but there are a few problems with them being the first date:
- Volume: Concerts, plays, movies, etc. aren’t places where you can have a conversations and get to know someone. Event such as those are great to showcase that you are a cultured gent but exclusively, they are not right for first date. Now, you can go to dinner and a movie, or get cocktails before the concert. This way you can have a great conversation and learn more about each other…then rock out!
- Possible disinterest: Everyone consumes art in different ways. You could run the risk of choosing a show that your date may not like. On the other hand, your date may agree to go to the play and it could totally suck or be wildly weird. Again, this could really put a damper on the experience.
- Hiding much? Because you can’t engage in dialogue on these kinds of dates, it may give the impression that you’re hiding, and/or it doesn’t allow her to experience you maravilloso (wonderful) personality.
3. Creative with Your Coin
Creativity doesn’t have to cost a fortune. It shows a bit of moxie when you can think outside of the box and create a refreshingly original experience. In fact, balling out could work against you. You don’t want to look like the guy that’s trying too hard to impress your date with your money. It’s actually quite lame.
Secondarily, an expectation could be set that all dates would be of this caliber. It might be more prudent to reserve the $200 bottle of vino, car service, and court side seats for a special occasion. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure and have her think dates like this will be all the time…unless your really have it like that!
Lastly, overspending on dates and recreational activities may give the impression that your priorities are out of sorts. Let’s be honest, a sound financial portfolio is sexy…knowing how to create a budget and stick to it is attractive, but recklessly spending on dates to impress your lady probably won’t work out well for you.
Again, if you have the means and budget, do your thing. But if you don’t, be wise with your spending.
4. Keep it Light and Fun
Be serious but not too serious. Have a blast but don’t be juvenile. Show that you’re insightful and thought provoking but don’t be a know-it-all. Have I confused you yet?
But in all seriousness, yo quiero your date to enjoy all parts of you and you should do the same. It isn’t a job interview so chill with the probing questions and just have fun. Do yourself and your date a favor and get out of your way by not overthinking things. Look at is this way – if she agreed to go out with you, she’s already interested. So just be the way that you were when you first connected.
If it ain’t broke…
5. It’s Okay to be Nervous
It shows that you recognize the stakes are high. Many mujeres (women) consider it cute to be a bit nervous and a bit awkward. It can be an ice breaker and calm a tense situation. Dating can be taxing…this is no secreto. She may be as nervous as you and have some oddities that could show their faces. As such, quirkiness can work in your favor as long as you don’t overdo it.
NOTA: Make sure your fragrance game is on point…beginning with bathing and wearing antiperspirant. We have two types of sweat glands: apocrine and eccrine. When we get stressed, the larger apocrine glands – mainly in the armpits and groin – produce sweat.
Stressful situations also cause our heart rate to increase, and encourage hormones and adrenaline to flood the body, causing additional sweat from our eccrine glands.
6. Stay Off Social Media
Be in en el momento. Give her your attention. What is the point in going on a date with another person if you’re not going to be engaged and attentive. You would literally be wasting time and dinero. By scrolling down your various timelines, you are communicating to her that double tapping, emojiing, and checking your DM’s are more importante than getting to know her.
Think about it from her perspective. If she was on her phone the whole date, would you be okay with it?
If fact, let’s expand this no social media rule to a no phone rule. Let your friends know where you are so they leave you alone. It’s cool to send a caller to voicemail. I promise you that they will be fine. The only exception is if you have children.
7. Take the Lead
Admittedly, there is an art to leading when in a relationship. As men, we must be careful that we don’t offend and come across as domineering, controlling, and overbearing. That is the mas facil (easiest) way to end the date early and the mas rapido (fastest) route toward no second date. Below are a few ways to show leadership without offending. DISCLAIMER: every woman is different, and these suggestions are not empirically based, but; these are just some things that I have put together overtime.
- Confidence is king: Let her know, through your speech, body language, and overall swagger that you believe in you and where your life is headed. This could (over time) translate into her having the notion that, if you all start dating exclusively, you would believe in y’all (I’m from Texas) as a couple.
- Don’t be indecisive: If you’re struggling to decide where to go on your date or what to eat on the menu…like if it’s really a tough task for you, that isn’t going to fare well in the long run. Remember, I’m not saying that you make every/any decision for her – especially those regarding personal taste and choice, but make the pequeno decisions confidently. MOST IMPORTANTLY, make decisions with her. Include her! Let her know that her input is valuable!
- Be Direct: Let her know what you are looking for. Now, don’t propose on the first date. That’s a little weird…no it’s a lot of weird! Do, however, let your intentions be known in a respectful and forthcoming manner. Use your conversations skills to cunningly weave it in. This helps with managing expectations and will let her know where your head is and where her head should be. Don’t assume that she automatically understands what you want, just as you should not assume that you understand everything that she wants. It’s the first date!!!!
Remember, that dating is an art and know that if you’re going to have a first date, she is already intrigued and likes you enough to want to learn more about you. Just be that same guy you were when you asked her out. That will increase your chances of success. It’s just that simple.
Stay fly mis amigos!